A sad few months…

Posted by: ShadyRidgein Diary Updates

November 19, 2012 – Well, it has been a rough couple of months and I haven’t felt like updating my blog let alone doing much else. But, life goes on and I am slowly getting back into the swing of things. This blog update is not going to be flashy or filled with pictures of our horses and such but rather a synopsis of the last few months and where we go from here. I just needed to write this out one more time and hope it will help me find some type of closure. (Next post should be a little more uplifting… I hope :-))

For those who are not aware, the last few months have been filled with stress and sadness. In September, we said good-bye to my beautiful dog, Shadow. She has been a part of our family for over 13 years and unfortunately age was taking its toll on her. I know I was being selfish in wanting to keep her around for ever and ever but eventually seeing her suffering became too much and I made the decision to let her go. She is still here with us on the property and will forever be in our hearts. She was the best dog anyone could ever ask for and I miss her terribly but know that she is stealing hearts in heaven now.

The other stressful situation I and my family have had to contend with is that my father was diagnosed with bladder cancer in August. At first we were very optimistic that surgery would help and he would recover. However, when the surgeon advised us that the growth was too large and they couldn’t remove it, our optimism faded. We still felt that there had to be something that could be done to alleviate his pain and help him get better but as we watched him suffering so much and as it got worse each time we saw him, the thought that he would live through this became a memory and we started preparing ourselves for the day when he would no longer be with us.

On October 17th, that day arrived and our lives changed forever. I went to see my dad in the hospital that day and he was in the worst condition I had yet to see him in. I left around 4pm as he was so out of it I didn’t think he even knew I was there. My sister, Donna, arrived there around 4:30pm and he was no longer with us. He didn’t want any of us to see him die so he chose to go to heaven in between my sister and I being there.

I think about him every day… numerous times a day. My dad was an amazing man who was the head of our family. He had a wonderful life and a family that truly loved him. He will forever be in our hearts. He and my mom raised us all well and are truly an inspiration to their children and their grandchildren.

Now we are all trying to go on without him. It is hard as there are times when something happens or we see something that we think, “Wow… dad would love this” or want to call him and tell him about something. I know that unfortunately this all a part of the circle of life and we will get stronger as the days pass but for right now, the wounds are still extremely fresh. This is the first really close death that most of us have had to deal with and it is very hard.

Moving forward we are banding together to help mom cope with the loss of her partner for the last 54 years and all that is involved when someone close to you dies. She has had her moments of feeling overwhelmed by all the notifications and such that she has had to deal with and her moments of not wanting to be in the house that she and dad lived in for the past 30+ years but we are doing our best to be there for her to lean on and talk to as best we can.

I even started redecorating our spare room so that mom can come and stay with us here and there and get away from the city and the house. I hope Randy will finish the painting soon and we can get new carpet in there and then it will be all ready and she can come any time she wants. She has lived in the city for a LONG time so coming to the country and being able to see the horses in the backyard; the dogs cuddling in her lap; the barn cats thoroughly enjoying the catnip that she always brings with her; and the wonderful sunsets we get here will hopefully help her to rejuvenate a little.

We have a tough season ahead of us… this will be the first Christmas without my dad. Not sure if he had passed earlier in the year if this season wouldn’t be as difficult to face but since it has only been 1 month and will be just over 2 months when Christmas arrives, we are all bracing for a really tough time this year.

I want to thank everyone who has shared stories of my dad over the last month and those who have offered us their condolences. We really appreciate it and are so happy to see that he touched so many lives in such a positive way.

We love you daddy and miss you terribly! You will forever been in our hearts! You will live on through your loving wife, children and grandchildren.

Shirley (wife)
Janice (Randy), Donna (Kent) & Greg (Simone) – (children & spouses)
Nicole, Kristen & Megan (grandchildren)

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This entry was posted on Monday, November 19th, 2012 at 10:52 am and is filed under Diary Updates. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.